50+ Adult Naughty Messages for Him and Her in English

Collection of Naughty Messages

Do U Know? When I Was Small,
So Many Girls Wanted 2 Kiss Me,
I Allowed,
Now A Days I Wanted 2 Kiss So Many Girls,
But They Don’t Allowed
Selfish Girls

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Father: Tell Me The Name Of The,
Bastard Who Made U Pregnant?
Daughter: Daddy If U Eat Fifteen Bananas,
Can U Tell Which One Made U Fat?

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Whenever I See Hot Girl With Fair Complexion
Sexy Figure, Long Hair And Only Thing I Remember Is
Tata Sky Slogan Life
Isko Laga Dala To Life Jhinga Lala

20+ Top 2 Line Non Veg Shayari in Hindi

Girl In Class Takes Biscuit From Bra,
Eats And Again Hides Back In Bra.
Madam: What R U Doing?
Santa: She Is Dipping Biscuit In Milk B4 Eating

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Once Lady: How Come Ur Husband Always Comes Home On Time?
Another Lady: I Have Made A Simple Rule,
Sex Will Be Sharp At 9 Pm Whether U R Here Or Not.

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Doctor: What Expressions R On Ur Hubby’s Face During Sex?
Sunny Leone : Anger
Doctor: Why??????????????????
Sunny Leone : Because He Is Always Watching From The Window.

Naughty Messages for Him

Girl: I Want A Responsible Man As A Husband.
Man: That’s Me,
Whenever Anyone Is Pregnant In My Neighbourhood,
That Say I M Responsible.

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Santa And A Girl Were Having Sex, Suddenly
Santa Asks: Do U Have Aids?
Girl : No………….
Santa : Thank God! I Didn’t Want To Get That Again.

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Manager And Secretary Went To The Hotel,
When They Want To Be The Bed, Manager Asked,
Do You Want Me To Treat U As Wife Or Secretary?
She Said, As A Wife,
Manager: Ok Good Night And Sweet Dreams

45+ Non Veg Jokes and Dirty Chutkule of the Day

Difference Between Good Girls And Bad Girls
Good Girls Open Few Buttons In Hot Atmosphere,
But Bad Girls Open All Buttons To Make The Atmosphere Hot.

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Dusro Ko Agar Hamari Wajah Se Thodi Kushi,
Milti Hai To Hume Thoda Dard Sehne Mein,
Pareshani Nahi Honi Chaiye.
Samajsevika (Sunny Bai )

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Bachcha: Mummy, Thodi Der Baad Aapko Mazaa Aane Wala Hai!
Mom:” Wo Kaise ?”
”Papa Ne Mujhe Cigaret Peete Dekh Liya,
Bole Ghar Chal Teri Maa Ch**Dta Hoon.

Naughty Messages for Her

A Couple In Train
Girl- My Hand Is Paining,
Boy Kisses The Hand,
Girl- My Neck Is Paining,
Boy Kisses The Neck,
An Old Man Asks Boy,
Son, Do U Also Treat Piles.

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During Sex Girl – Promise Me U Won’t Break My Heart,
Boy – Nahi Re Pagli Itna Lamba Thodi Hai

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At 18 A Lady Is Like Football
22 Men Behind Her.
At 28 Basket Ball.
10 Men Behind Her,
At 38 Golf Ball.
1 Man Behind Her,
At 48 Table Tennis Ball,
1 Man Pushing Her To Another.

55+ Funny Indian Jokes That Make You Laugh

Boy: Do You Know U Would Look More Sexy With One Kg Less,
Girl- Ok Janu, I Will Loose It As Soon As Possible.
Boy: In My Opinion All Ur Clothes Weight Exactly One Kg.

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Never Kiss A Police Woman,
She Will Say Stop-Hands Up,
Never Kiss A Nurse She Will Say Next Please,
Kiss A Teacher She Will Say Repeat It 5 Times

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The Perfect System To Avoid Condom Accident,
Use Double Condom With Chilly Powder In Between,
If Outer Breaks She Will Know ,
If Inner Breaks U Will Know.

Naughty Good Morning Messages

Cricketer Wife Asked For Divorced In Court,
Judge Ask The Reason
She Replied
Who Shot Pe Shot Marta H,
Par Ball Ko Hath Hi Nahi Lagata.

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Love Is A Sensation Date Is Cause By Temptation,
A Boy Puts His Location In A Girls Destination,
Do U Get My Explanation Or Do U Wanna Demonstration?

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Father: My 5 Yrs Old Son Is Very Naughty,
He Made All Our Female Servants Pregnanat,
Dr. How ????????????????????????????
Father: He Took A Pin And Punched Holes In All My Condoms

Top 50 Funniest Jokes Ever of All Time

Which Type Of Girls Wear Transparent Dresses?
The Girls Are Not Having Any Confidence,
On Imagination Power Of A Man.

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For A Blooming Business Start A,
Condom Company Names
DIPPER CONDOMS
If Will Get Free Publicity On Indian Trucks,
USE DIPPER AT NIGHT

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A Nun Visits Dr. For Urine Test,
By Mistakes Her Report Gets Exchange,
Dr. Says U R Pregnant Nun Murmurs,
Oh Jesus,
We Can’t Even Trust Candles

Naughty Messages for Boyfriend

Mother To Her Teenage Daughter
Now Its Time That We Should Talk
About Sex……. Daughter Ok!
Mom What Do You Want To Know?

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Husbands And Wife Are Like Two Type Of Vehicles,
Even If One Gets Punctured, The Vehicle Can’t Move.
So Intelligent Men Always Carry A Stepney With Them

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When The Time Comes For U 2 Give Ur Heart,
To Someone Make Sure That U Select Someone,
Who Will Never Break Ur Heart,
Because Broken Heart Have No Spare Parts

55+ Comedy Jokes in Hindi Language

A Woman Married A One Lagged Man,
She Wrote To Her Mother:
My Husband Only Has One Foot,
Her Mother Replied: You Are Lucky,
Your Papa Has Only 5 Inches.

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Girl To Doctor: My Mobile Got Stuck,
In My Vagina Since Last 4 Days In Vibration Mode,
Doctor: Ok, I Will Remove This Easily!
Girl: No Just Recharge The Battery.

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Wife 2 Naked Husband,
Why R U Walking Around,
The Neighbours Can See Ur Thing?
Husband : So What?
Wife: They’ll Think I Married U For Your Money Only

Naughty Messages In English

4 Road Signs Which Stands In Front Of A Womans Vagina
1 Caution-Dark Tunnel
2 Drive Carefully-Road Wet N Slippery.
3 Go Slow.
4 Men On Duty

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Kid By Chance Entered Into Parents Bedroom,
He Shocked At What He Sees, And Shouted At His Mom,
Aur Aap Mujhe Sirf Angoota Chosne Par Marti Ho.

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A Sardar Was Fond Of Detective Novels,
He Always Read From The Middle,
Why ???????
Its Double Interesting….
It, Builds Curiosity Not Only About Its End,
But Also Its Beginning

40+ Short Funny Jokes for Students

Law Of Conversation Of Love,
Love Can Neither Be Created Or Destroyed,
But Can Be Transferred From,
One Girlfriend To Another With Some Slag.

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Santa Seeing Animal Shit On Road,
Stop Thinks What Is It May Be?
Puts All His Ideas, Then Tastes,
It And Says 2 Himself Thank God!
I Didn’t Not Sleep On It.

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Customer : Is Mirror Ki Guarantee Kya H ?
Santa : It Is 99% Safe……!
100 Feet Ki Uchai Se Fenkoge To,
99 Feet Tak Kuch Nahi Hoga

Naughty Messages for Husband

Sometimes U May Catch Me Starting At U,
It’s Not B’coz U R Cute.
My Mom Told Me That Devils Have Tails
And I’m Just Wondering Where Is U R S?

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There Is An Urgent Meeting In The Jungle
Every Ones There Lions, Tigers, Cheetas And Ape,
But The Meeting Can’t Start Because,
The Monkey Is Reading This Text.

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Can We Romance In The Night 2day?
I’m In The Good Mood 2day.
Just A Little Bit Of Kissing If Yes,
Reply Me Soon… Yours Lovingly…. Mosquito

40+ Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

I Cannot Hide This From U Any More,
I Don’t Want 2 Hurt U And Fell,
It’s Best If I Tell U,
Before You Hear It From Someone Else,
Potato Price Have Gone Up

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1 Day U’ll B Surprised To See Me Beside U,
U And Me Laughing. U And Me Crying.
U And Me Dreaming, U And Me Holding On, U And Me.
Just U And Me Siting In A Mental Hospital And Me Checking U.

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Sweet Candies R Nice 2 Eat,
Sweet Words Are Easy 2 Say,
But Sweet People Are Hard 2 Find,
Oh My God! How Did You Find Me?

Naughty Good Night Messages

Que: Who Is Senior, Penis Or Vagina.
Ans: Vagina Bcoz,
Penis Always Stand Up When He Sees A Vagina.
So Respect The Seniors.

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Define Breast?

B= Beautiful
R= Round Shaped
E= Equipment
A= Amazingly
S= Soft With
T= Tasty Milk
To Peo Sir Uthake.

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Fact 1 : One Cigarate Reduced Life By 5 Min
Fact 2: Sex Increase Life By 10 Min

Moral Of Story: A Fucking Smoker Never Dies.

50+ Chutkule Hindi Me and Comedy Jokes

A Bihari Was Very Frustrated From Jokes Made On Him,
So He Went To His Wife And Ask Her
Mujhe Kuch Aisa Suna Jisme Main Involve Na Hu,
She Replied I M Pregnant.

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What’s Rough And Hairy On The Outside,
And Soft And Wet In The Inside,
Starts With See Ends In T And Has A U And A N In It?
Answer: A Coconut U Pervert

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A Couple Had A Fight One Night,
Going To Bed Husband Says:
Good Night Mother Of 3 Kids.
Wife Replied: Good Night Father Of None

Naughty Love Messages For Her

Man Come Home,
Saw His Wife With His Friend In Bed,
He Shoots His Friend,
Wife Says: If You Behave Like This,
You Will Lose All Your Friends One Day!

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A Wise Man Asked: Explain What Is Rape?
He Said: Its Difficult Job.
It Is Something Like Playing Golf With A Moving Hole.

Very Funny Jokes In Hindi

Man Says To His Wife,
Let Me Take A Picture Of Your Breasts,
Then I Can Always Look At Them.
Wife: Let Me Take A Picture Of Your Penis,
I Will Have It Enlarged.

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Sex Is Like A Restaurant,
Sometimes U Get Good Service,
Sometimes Bad Service,
Sometimes No Service And,
Many Times U Have 2 Be,
Happy With Self Service.