Funny Jokes In Roman English
Sadhu :- Ghar Ke Bahar Khada Ho Kar,
“Baabu G Roti Milegi?”
Andhar Se Awaaz Aati Hai,’Biwi Ghar Par Nhi Hai”
Sadhu – Maine Roti Leni Hai Ch00t Nhi
~~~~~
Mehboob Mere Mehboob Mere,
Teri Masti Me Muje Jeene De,
Boht Doodh Hai Tere Seenay Me,
Muje Daba-Daba Ke Pene De..
~~~~~
Ek Sardar Mountain Everest Ke Sabse Upar Jaake,
Baithkar Araam Se Kitaab Padhne Laga,
Kisi Ne Pucha Paji Ki Kar Rahe Ho Tusi?
Sardar :- Higher (Top) Study.
~~~~~
Patient : Doctor Ji, Agar Kisi Din Mein Aakar,
Pent Ki Jeb Se Note Hi Note Nikalta Rahu.
Wo Bhi Itne Ki Aapkse Sabhi Purane Bil Chuke Du,
To Aapko Kaisa Lagega,
Doctor : Mujhe Pura Vishwas Ho Jayega Ki Tum,
Kisi Or Ki Pent Pehan Ke Aaye Hue Ho.
~~~~~
Ladke Ka Baap – Double Bed Majboot Banana Kyunki,
Mera Beta Isi Par Suhagraat Manaayega,
Dhyaan Rahe Bed Tutna Nahi Chahiye !
Mistri – Tnsn Mat Lo Ji Aap.
Aisa Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Chad Jaaye To Bhi Na Tute.
45+ Cool Funny Quotes in Hindi
Advocate Ne Gusse Mein Chilakar Pucha, Aap To Vidhwa Hai ?
Mahila : Haan !
Advocate : Fir Aapka Ye Baccha Kaise Hai ?
Mahila : Pati Mare H Main Nahi.
~~~~~
Doctor – Aapka Aur Aapki Patni Ka Blood Group Ek Hi Hai,
Sardar :- Hoga, Ji Jarur Hoga, 10 Saalon Se Mera Khoon Jo Pee Rahi Hai.
~~~~~
Maine Apne Bete Ka Result Card Dekhte Hue Pucha,
Are Abki Baar Tumhare Number Itne Kam Kyu Hain,
Mummy Aap Hi To Kehti Hain Ki Thode Me Santosh Kia Karo.
~~~~~
Do Dost Chitiyo Pe Baate Kr Rahe The,
Ek Ne Kaha Chal Koi Faida Bata Chitiyo Ka,
Dusre Ne Kaha Yaar Faida To Ek Hi Hai,
Mummy Kahi Pe Mithyai Rakh De Chitiya Bata Deti H Kaha H.
~~~~~
Pati Patni Ladayi Kr Rahe The,
Pati Chilate Hue Saali Chup Hoja Zyada Boli Na,
Bich Se Kaat Ke Penkh Dunga,
Ghar Ke Bahar Se Gujarta Hu Aadmi:
Bhai Niche Wala Mere Ghar Penkh Dena.
~~~~~
Aurat Aur Aadmi Ke Aansuon Me Kya Farq Hota Hai,
Aurat Ke Aansu Tab Nikalte Hai Jab Uski Khawaish Poori,
Nahi Hoti Aur Aadmi Ke Aansu Tab Nikalte Hain,
Jab Aurat Ki Khawish Poori Ho Jaati Hai.
Indian Joke of the day
Dost Dost Se Tumhe Pata Hai Kahi Baar,
Kutte Insaan Se Jyada Smjhdaar Hote Hai,
Dosti Ha Kyun Nahi Tumhe Dekhar To Yahi Lagta Hai.
~~~~~
Doctor :- “Beta, Kutte Ne Tumhe Kaise Kaata,
Pappu :- Uncle, Kaat Ke Btau,
Ya Aise Hi Faltu Sawal Krne Band Kr Doge.
~~~~~
Rajkumar :- Kya Tumhaara Kabhi Kisi,
Pagal Se Paala Pada Hai,
Vinod :- Koshish To Bahut Ki Thi,
Ki Pagal Se Paala Na Pade,
Par Aaj Chahte Hue Bhi Tumse Bach Nahi Paaya.
~~~~~
Station Par Ek Aadmi Ne T.T Se Poocha,
Bombay Express Kitne Baje Aayegi ?
T.T :- 11 Baje. Aadmi : Or Paschim Express.
T.T : 11.45 Pe, Aapko Jana Kaha Par H,
Aadmi : Patri Par Potty Krne
~~~~~
Santa :- Daraawne Sapno Se Nijaat,
Paane Ke Liye Kya Kare,
Banta :- Jaise Hi Sapne Dikhaayi Dein,
Aankhein Band Kar Leni Chahiye ?
~~~~~
Do Behre Aadmi Ek Dusre Se Raste Mein Mile,
Pehla :- “Kya Mandir Jaa Rahe Ho,
Dusra :- “Nahi Main To Mandir Jaa Raha Hu,
Pehla :- “Accha Maine Socha Tum Mandir Jaa Rahe Ho.
Top 50 Funniest Jokes Ever of All Time
Ramesh Ki Biwi Ne Fierst Floor Se Ek,
Kele Wale Se Pucha:- “Kele Kaise Diye ?,
Kelewala :- “50 Rupee Ke 12 Mamshab,
Ramesh Ki Biwi Ne Kaha 13 Deta Ho To Upar Aaja.
~~~~~
Pardeep : Matak-Matak Kar Chalti H Maar Dalegi Kya,
Thodi Se De De Ab Iska Acchar Daleghi Kya,
Preeti : Matak Matak Kar Chalti Hu Meri Chaal Hi Aisi H,
Apni Maa Behan Ki Lele Unn Sabki Bhi Mere Jaisi H.
~~~~~
Bade C Hai Wo Log Jo Choot Ka Intezaar Karte H,
Mard Wahi Hote Hai Jo Hath Se Shant Apna Hathiyar Karte H.
~~~~~
A Business Lady Lost Her Undergarments In The Home,
And She Blaimed To Nukrani In Front Of Her Husband,
Nukrani Replied: Sahab Ji Aap To Acchi Tarah Jante Ho,
Main Niche Kuch Bhi Nahi Pehanti.
~~~~~
Boy To Girl: Shadi Ke Liye Kon Si Date Fix Kare,
Girl : Sharmate Hue.. 22 DEC Rakh Lo,
Boy : Kyu Iss Din Kyu, Koi Khas Wajah?
Girl : Niche Najre Kiye Hue.. Suna Hai Ye Saal,
Ki Sabse Lambi Raat Hoti Hai.
Short Funny Jokes In Hindi
Patni Mote Pati Se :- Ji Sunte Ho Dekhna Pinki Kyu Roo Rahi Hai,
Mota Pati :- Hmm Dekho Na Jid Lagaye Baithi Hai Ki,
Ise Hathi Par Bethna Hai,
Patni :- To Phir Aap Peeth Pe Bithaate Kyun Nahi.
~~~~~
Santa : Aap Apna Kutta Bechne Ki Kripa Karenge,
Kal Meri Patni Ko Gaane Ki Rehersal Rok Dena Padi,
Kyunki Aapka Kutta Poore Waqt Bhonkta Raha,
Banta : Maaf Kijiyega, Par Shuruaat Apki Patni Karti Hai.
~~~~~
Patni Park Me Akeli Bethi Thi,
Tabhi Pati Ne Piche Se Aakar Uski Aankhein Band Kar Li,
Patni Boli : Rahul ! Nahi Nahi,
Tumhara Sparsh To Parveen Jaisa Hai, Par Nahi,
Tumhari Unglion Ka Dabaav Rakesh Jaisa Hai.
~~~~~
Preeti :- Mere Pati Shaadi Ke 1 Mahine Ke Andar Hi Chal Base,
Deepti :- Kitna Khusnasseb Tha Wo Jo Ek Bhi Dukh Nahi Dekh Paya.
~~~~~
Patni :- Akbaar Mein Chapa Hai Ki Ek Aadmi Ne,
Do Waqt Ke Khane Ke Badle Apni Patni Ko Bech Diya,
Kahin Tum Bhi Aisa To Nahi Karoge Na Patidev Ji.
Pati :- Me Itna Pagal Thode Hi Hu Pagli Kahi Ki,
Yaha Ek Flat Se Kam Mein Baat Bhi Nahi Karunga.
65 Funny Messages for Whatsapp in Hindi
Newspaper Mein Ek Advertisement Par Likha Tha,
Kal Shaam Nadi Ke Kinaare Par Jisne Bhi,
Waha Se Keemati Kapde Uthaye Hai (Ladki Ke),
Wo Saree Wo Niche Likhe Pate Par Wapas Kar De,
Unhe Uchit Inaam Diya Jaayega.
~~~~~
Ek Ladka Cycle Ki Shop Par Gaya Aur Bola,
Aapne Guarantee Lete Hue Kaha Tha Ek Saal Mein Jo Tootega,
Usko Thik Kar Doge,
~~~~~
Shopkeeper:- Haan Kaha Tha, Bolo Toota Kya Hai,
Ladka : Cycle Ki Break Wali Taar Aur Mere 4 Daant.
Uncle Ji Pehle Daant Thik Krna.
~~~~~
Ek Raha Chalta Aadmi Aam Wale Se,
Kya Ye Aam, Langda Aam Hai?,
Aam Wala :- Ji Haan Langde Na Hote To,
Main Inhe Sir Par Uthakar Thodi Ghoomta,
~~~~~
Ek Lakhpati Dost Se Uska Dost Bola,
Yaar Ab Aap Bhi Ghar Par Biwi Le Aaiye,
Lakhpati : Irada To Kaafi Accha Hai,
Par Kon Dega Apni Biwi Mujhe Ghar Laane Ko.
Funny Indian Jokes Ever
Patient : Doctor Sahab Mujhe Bhul Jaane Ki Aadat Ho Gayi Hai,
Kya Ye Mere Liye Faidemand Ya Nuksanmand Ho Sakti Hai,
Doctor :- Ji Bilkul, Agar Aap Saans Lena Bhul Jaao To,
Aapki Achanak Hi Maut Ho Sakti Hai.
~~~~~
Santa :- Banta Main Ab Tak 40-45 Rupye Ki Chuhe Marne Wali,
Dawa Khareed Chuka Hu, Par Chuhe Marte Hi Nahi,
Ban :- Itne Mein To Main Tumhe Ek Billi Lakar De Deta,
Aur Wo Chuho Ko Apne Aap Khatam Kar Deti.
~~~~~
Ek Maalik Ne Apne Office Mein Rakhe Hue Naye,
Poen Se Poocha :- Kya Manager Ne Tumhe Bata Diya Hai,
Tumhe Kya Karna Hai ?
Ji Haan Jab Aapke Aane Ki Aawaz Sunoon To Unhe Jaga Du.
~~~~~
Mareej Hosh Mein Aane Ke Baad Doctor Se Bola,
Kamaal Hai Doctor Sahab, Mene Sucide Karne Ke Liye,
7th Vi Manjil Se Chalang Lagayi Lekin Fir Bhi Jinda Hoon,
Doctor :- Aap To Jinda Hain, Lekin Jis Aadmi,
Par Aap Gire The Wo Wahi Mar Gaya Hai.
~~~~~
Ek Baaniya Car Mein Kahi Jaa Rahe Tha,
Car Kuch Niche Upar Hui Thi,
Unhone Driver Se Pucha :- Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho,
Driver :- Hujoor Pathar Aa Gaya Tha,
Seth :- To Tumne Horn Kyun Nahi Diya.
45+ Hilarious Jokes of the Day
Sonu Ne Preeto Ko Naukar Ke Sath Sofee Par Bethe Hue,
Dekh Lia, Use Gussa Aaya,
Par Preeto Ko Talaak Dena Muskil Aur Accha,
Naukar Milna Bhi Muskil Tha,
Isliye Unhone Sofa Bech Dala Taaki,
Aisi Naubat Dobara Kabhi Na Aa Sake.
~~~~~
Ek Bacchi Apni Maa Ke Sath Doctor Ke Gayi,
Doctor :- Batao Tum Ladki Ho Ya Ladka,
Bacchi :- Ladka,
Doctor :- Badhe Hokar Kya Banne Ki Iccha Hai,
Bacchi :- Dulha,
Maa :- Kya Pagalo Wale Uttar De Rahi Ho,
Bacchi :- Doctor Sahab Kaha Ke,
Acche Parshan Kar Rahe Hain.
~~~~~
Ek Aadmi Ne Ek Naukar Rakha,
Sharat Ye Thi Ki Agar Usne Koi Plate Todi To Naukri,
Se Nikal Diya Jaayega,
Pehle Hi Din Jab Wo Plate’n Lekar Jaa Raha Tha,
To Uske Hath Se Saari Plate Choot Gayi Aur Toot Gayi.
Wo Maalik Ke Paas Jaakar Bola :-
Saari Plate’n Toot Gayi Hai Aur Me Chala.
~~~~~
Banta : Yaar Mujhe Yaad Nahi Aa Raha Ki Maine,
Tumse 50 Rupye Kab Liye The ?
Santa :- Jab Tum Nashe Mein The,
Banta :- Accha Magar Wo To Maine Wapas Kar Diye The,
Santa :- Kab ?,
Banta :- Jab Tum Nashe Mein The.
~~~~~
Sethji :- Beta Tumne Jo Muneem Rakha Hai,
Wo Kaam To Thik Karta Hai Par Langda Hai,
Kaam Par Hamesha Dair Se Aayega,
Beta :- Pitaaji Agar Kabhi Rupye Lekar Bhaaga
To Pakadne Mein Bhi Dair Nahi Lagegi.
Funniest Indian Joke Ever
Kisi Ne Ek Sadhu Se Poocha, Swamiji,
Patni Ko Vash Mein Karne Ka Koi Upaaye Bataaiye,
Sadhu :- Baccha,
Yadi Upaay Ka Gyaan Mujhe Hota To Main Sadhu Hi Kyun Banta.
~~~~~
Train Me Ek Ladke Ne Apna Ek Box Upar Samaan Rakhne Wali,
Jagah Par Rakh Raha Tha,
Tabhi Neeche Ek Moti Ladki Bethi Thi,
Ladki :- Bhaisahab Is Box Ko Kisi Aur Jagah Par Rakhiye,
Yahan Se Ye Mere Sir Par Girega,
Ladki :- Koi Baat Nahi Behan Ji,
Isme Tootne Wali Koi Saaman Nahi Hai.
~~~~~
Santa :- Tum Ekdum Se Itne Ameer Kaise Ho Gaye ?
Banta :- Bhulne Ki Aadat Ke Kaaran,
Santa :- Wo Kaise ?
Banta :- Mere Chacha Ko Dil Ka Daura Pada Aur Main Doctor Ka,
Phone Number Bhul Gaya Isliye Doctor Ko Na Bula Saka,
Aur Chacha Ji Chal Base.
~~~~~
Kisi Taxi Wale Ne Ek Taxi Udhaar Maangi,
Usne Kaha Main Sara Paisa Ek Saal Mein Adaa Kar Dunga,
Shopkeeper :- Agar Ek Saal Mein Paisa Na Diya Ho ?
Taxi Wala :- To Kya Aap Dusre Saal Mujhe Pichle,
Saal Ke Petrol Ka Paisa Dekar Apni Car Wapas Le Lena.
~~~~~
Guest :- “Bablu Ki Chai Mein To Bada Maja Aaya,
Bablu Apni Prashansha Sun Kar Khush To Hua,
Baabu Ji Yadi Billi Udh Me Muh Na Maar Gayi Hoti,
To Aur Bhi Jyada Bahut Jayda Majaa Aata.
55+ Comedy Jokes in Hindi Language
Baccha :- Maa, School Nahi Jaunga,
Kyunki, Teacher Bilkul Galat Shiksha Deti Hai,
Kuch Din Pehle Keh Rahi Thi,
5 Aur 5 Dus Hote Hain,
Kal Keh Rahi Thi, 6 Aur 4 Dus Hote Hain,
Aaj Kehne Lagi, 8 Aur 2 Dus Hote Hain.
~~~~~
Kya Tum Cigarette Peete Ho ?,
Nahi ……….
Kya Tumhe Sharab Ka Shauk Hai ?
Nahi ……….
Kya Ladkio Ka ?
Nahi …………
Fir Tum Kis Chij Se Apna Dil Behlaate Ho ?
Hmmmm…….. Jhuth Bolkar.
~~~~~
Police Waale Ne Pati-Patni Ko Rok Liya,
Kya Baat Hai ?
Cycle Par 3 Sawari Chalana Jurm Hai,
Hum To Do Hi Hai,
Aur Tumhari Patni Jo Pet Se Hai.
~~~~~
Army Hawaldar :- Naujawano Aage Badho, Ek Sardar Aage Nahi Badha,
Army Hawaldar :- Tum Aage Kyun Nahi Badhe Sukhvinder ?
Sardar :- Apne Kaha 9 Jawan Aage Badho, Main To 10 Number Pe Tha.
~~~~~
Sonu – Meri Patni Kabhi Mujhse Baat Nahi Karti,
Monu :- Meri Patni To Karti Hai,
Sonu :- Kab ? Har Mahine Ki Pehli Tareek Ko.
~~~~~
Bunty :- Babli Cinema Hall Mein Betha Tha,
Ek Scene Dekhkar Babli Ne Bunty Se Kaha,
Kaash Tum Bhi Itna Hi Pyar Karte ?
Tum Bhi Pagal Ho,
Janti Ho Isse Pyar Karne Ke Liye Paise Mile Hai.
Funny Jokes to send Friends
Pappu :- Doctor Sahab, Main Roj Ek Bura Sapna Dekhta Hu,
Ki Paanch Ladkiyo Se Meri Shadi Ho Rahi Hai,
Doctor :- Magar Ise Bura Sapna Kyu Kehte Ho?,
Pappu :- Apne Kabhi Itni Ladkiyo Ke Liye Khana Pakaya Hota To Samajhte.
~~~~~
Pati :- Kal Padosan Mere Sapne Me Aayi Thi,
Patni :- Akeli Aayi Hogi Na ?
Pati :- Tumhe Kaise Pata Chala?
Patni :- Uska Pati To Mere Sapno Mein Aaya Tha.
~~~~~
Bunty :- Tum Hamesha Meri Maa Behano Ko Gaali Dete Ho,
Jo Kehna Hai, Mujhe Kaho Lekin Maa Tak Mat Jaya Karo Kabhi Bhi,
Bunty :- Kaisi Baat Karti Ho Yaar Tum,
Aakhir Unki Marzi Se Hi To Tum Mere Palle Bandhi Gayi Ho.